I will be the first to admit that I have never been great at praying. It seems really odd to say, I mean how can someone not be good at expressing their feelings to the Father in heaven. Although, If I had to guess, I am not the only one that struggles with their prayer life. I was never taught “how to pray” outside of just being told that praying is just a conversation you have with God. OK. I get that in essence that is what praying is. However, just like my best friend I am sure God doesn’t want to hear the same thing over and over (at least that is what I tell myself). I was starting to feel like a broken record so I just didn’t pray very often. Then one evening I learned a different approach to praying that has grown my prayer life, overnight, effortlessly. It has brought me closer to God and I look forward to my quiet time when I can sit down and speak straight to Him.
Hey Mama! I see you today. I see you struggling. I see you trying to juggle the craziness of motherhood, always being pulled in multiple directions. Trying to hold it all together but feel like you are failing daily. I am here to tell you that despite those thoughts and feelings of failure, that you are doing an AMAZING job. You are a wonderful mother and you are doing the best you know how.
I stared in the mirror this morning as I was blow drying my hair for the first time in weeks, no makeup and dressed in my "mom" clothes. How did I get to this point? To a time where I go days between showers and weeks without makeup. The younger me, the me before I had kids, would take one look at my current momiform and be like, "Nope. Not me. I will still take care of myself when I have kids." It is super easy to get down on myself when I start thinking these thoughts.
I had a conversation with my daughter this morning as I was taking her to preschool.
“I don’t want to go to school.”
“Oh, why is that?”
“I don’t like sitting criss-cross applesauce on the carpet.”
Oh, how I wish I could go back to simpler times when sitting criss-cross applesauce on the carpet circle was my biggest challenge of the day.
Mom Bashing… what’s the point?
OK, y’all. Can we go ahead and STOP the mom bashing!! I just don’t get it. Really, what is the point? Now, agreeing to disagree is cool. However, to straight up say “YOU ARE WRONG because you do/believe/have xyz”, is not appropriate. EVER!
If you have checked out my homepage or the sidebar on this blog then you will know I don’t have time for mom bashing or any bashing… who does? Not this mom! And, it does not belong on this blog or anywhere else for that matter. Thank goodness I haven’t seen any here yet.
Nonetheless, what brought all these feelings back to the surface was not something that happened to me but to Mandy Moore...
Last year, I wrote this post as a way to release some of my feelings I had built up inside while by husband was deployed. Being a military spouse is not for the faint of heart. Then you add kids and a busy schedule on top of a deployment, it can be a recipe for "all the feelings". I relayed this devotion as a way to encourage not only myself through this time but others as well. I really needed to re-read this today.
My husband is home now, we survived, YAY!! But there is always something going in our lives that we just need to surrender over to the Lord. In my case, our house is on the market and has been since October... we have had A LOT of people walk through it and LOVE it but no offers. We are still waiting. I have to remind myself that God will fight for us! Whether, it is a deployement or selling our home, he is on our side.
I just need to be still.