I stared in the mirror this morning as I was blow drying my hair for the first time in weeks, no makeup and dressed in my "mom" clothes. How did I get to this point? To a time where I go days between showers and weeks without makeup. The younger me, the me before I had kids, would take one look at my current momiform and be like, "Nope. Not me. I will still take care of myself when I have kids." It is super easy to get down on myself when I start thinking these thoughts.
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The Lies We Tell Ourselves
It is crazy the lies we tell ourselves and what is even crazier is that we start believing them. But, that is the way the mind works. The thoughts, negative or positive, become our realities. Those negative thoughts and lies we tell ourselves become the soundtrack to our lives.
"I can't do anything right."
"I am the worst mom ever."
"My kids hate me, I am not sure I am the right mom for them."
"I must be doing something wrong, look how well behaved those children are while mine are running around the grocery store like a bunch of wild animals."
"Look how cute that mom always looks, I am a slob."
Any of these sound familiar? Are you starting to believe these thoughts? Are you living these thoughts? Are these thoughts controlling your happiness? All these negative thoughts start replaying over and over in your mind and it is no wonder we have a hard time loving ourselves. Would you allow someone to talk to you or your children the way you talk to yourself? I am going to guess not. What do you think would happen if you changed those negative thoughts to positive thoughts?
I am not sure about you but I got so tired of all those negative and toxic thoughts filling my brain. I am better than those lies and so are you! If you start thinking uplifting and positive thoughts then those will become the soundtrack to your life, when focusing on the positive your brain doesn't have time to think of the negative. You can only think about one thing at a time, the lies you have created in your head or the truth you are desperate for.
I am going through the book 21 Days of Prayer for Your Business for the second time now. I love this book and it is great for anyone not just business owners. On Day 3 Monique talks about how you are uniquely made. Sometimes it is nice to have a little bit of reassurance that you are special and you are here for a purpose, that you are uniquely and wonderfully made. I am hoping I can be that voice for you today!
God has created all of us in His image and I am 100% sure those negative thoughts and lies we tell ourselves aren't apart of it. Are we all made equally the same? No. Remember, we are uniquely made and we all have our special gifts and talents. You may not make the best grilled cheese like the mom down the street but, you know how to build the best blanket fort out of all the moms in the neighborhood. Or maybe you aren't good with makeup but you can rock the mom bun like no other.
And guess what!?! That is OK. Stop focusing on the negative and the things you "can't" do. Instead focus on all the positives you bring to the table and focus on those, focus on your uniqueness! Remember, we are all moms just doing the best we know how.
Have you heard of affirmations? The definition of an affirmation is something that is affirmed; a declaration that something is true. Now, have you ever spoke affirmations over yourself? This was something I never even considered, I didn't even know it was a "thing". When I first found out about it, I was obsessed and I thought I would give it a try. I mean what could it hurt?
Today, when looking in the mirror I could have easily started in on myself with all those negative thoughts and I cant's. But, instead I focused on the positive. Start focusing on affirmations. Get some sticky notes, write affirmations on them and stick them EVERYWHERE! On your bathroom mirror, the steering wheel of your car, by the kitchen sink, or your computer screen... anywhere you are most likely to see them. Then, every time you see one say it OUT LOUD over and over to yourself!
If you aren't to keen on placing sticky notes everywhere another thing you can do is pick an anchor spot, like a flower vase. Associate an affirmation with that object and every time you see it repeat the affirmation OUT LOUD to yourself, over and over. I can guarantee that once you start repeating these affirmations to yourself you will start to believing them and YOU WILL be a happier and more confident mom!
Here are 5 affirmations to get you started:
"I am enough."
"I am exactly who and what my children need to be."
"My children will grow up just fine. I am not failing them."
"I am doing a good job."
"I give myself permission to not be perfect."
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Are you ready to be a more confident mom? Are you ready to embrace your uniqueness? In the words of Monique, from her book, "Once you begin walking in the ways you are uniquely made, you start to SPARKLE and SHINE." Just wow!! I want to sparkle and shine! Don't you? I think one of the things all of us moms have in common is that we want to raise strong, independent, confident and responsible human beings. How can we show them how to be confident and believe in themselves if we don't live by that example?
My friends know I am big on affirmations, it is something I ALWAYS suggest to help build confidence or belief in ones-self. The other day my best friend sent me a message saying, "So I know you can appreciate this... I just put up affirmations in my kitchen window and my bathroom mirror. And 3 on my computer." I sent her about a million heart emojis back because it truly made my heart happy!
I would love to hear from you, have you ever spoken words of affirmation over you?