I see you today. I see you struggling. I see you trying to juggle the craziness of motherhood, always being pulled in multiple directions. Trying to hold it all together but feel like you are failing daily. I am here to tell you that despite those thoughts and feelings of failure, that you are doing an AMAZING job. You are a wonderful mother and you are doing the best you know how.
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Feelings of Failure
Every morning I drop my daughter off at school and just about every morning she has to be pulled off me crying and screaming. Saying she doesn't want to go to school and she wants to say home with me. She does not want me to leave her side. It breaks my heart EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
I know she is in great hands at school with teachers that love and care for her. I know that she will end up having a great day full of learning and laughter with her friends. When I go pick her up in the afternoons she is happy as can be and giving all the teachers hugs as we walk out.
But it doesn't lessen the feelings of being a failure at this mom life. I feel like I am failing her because I don't understand why she goes through this every morning.
Is she scared of something? She is so happy when I pick her up and talks about her day like nothing is wrong.
Is she just showing her stubborn side? She gets this honestly from me.
Is it just a phase? With three kids I know very well that kids go through phases and before you know it they are out of that, what seems like never-ending, stage.
Or is it something more? I am at a loss.
My oldest son is eleven. He is a great kid, loves to read and has a knack for video games. He is really getting into sports lately and can rattle off football stats like it's the ABC's. But he can't remember how to comb his hair in the morning?!
Or that EVERY DAY we have the same morning and afternoon routine… yet can't remember what it is without multiple reminders. These daily encounters normally lead to "Angry Mom". I know you know that mom. The mom no one strives to be, but somehow, she still finds her way to the surface.
Water and oil are a great way to describe the relationship my son and I have. The things that make us different clash big time and in the same sentance the things that make us similar clash big time as well. It is a recipe for disaster most days. It is SO EASY for me to think I am failing him daily as a mother because I have a hard time finding ways to connect with him on a more personal level, not just always being the "drill Sargeant".
And then there is my youngest son, he is two. He is the baby and a momma's boy. I am a stay at home mom and in the process of building up my business. Am I spending enough time with him? Is he going to resent me and my business? Will I fail him when it comes to socializing and growing his imagination? Because let's just face it, he watches a lot of TV. Way more than I have ever allowed any of my other children.
All these thoughts of failure go through my head and it isn't even 9:00 am yet.
You Are NOT Failing
The other week as I was getting back into my car trying really hard to hold in the tears and the feelings of failure as I dropped off my daughter, leaving her crying and not wanting me to leave her side. Another mom behind me in the drop-off line yells, "You are doing a great job!" I got back in my car as fast as I could. I couldn't even hold it back any longer, I just cried.
I cried for my daughter. I cried for myself. I cried for the fact that another mom saw my struggle and was gracious enough to reach out to me. I cried for all those moms who feel like they are failing all the time and do not have a voice of encouragement.
She may not have known just how much her words meant to me that day. But her words and act of love have stuck with me every day since then. They give me strength as I drop my daughter off kicking and screaming, as a navigate this crazy world with a middle schooler, and work from home with my youngest.
You see, as I sit down to write this, my daughter is in school. And guess what!?! She walked in ALL BY HERSELF this morning! Doesn't mean the next day we won't be back to the kicking and screaming but for today we had a successful morning. You better believe me when I say that when I pick her up this afternoon I will be loving and praising that girl so hard for being so BRAVE this morning.
God gives you challenges because he knows you can handle them, with His love and grace. He puts people in your life to give you strength and support. He gives you these little triumphs to keep you going through the hard times.
Here is a verse you can focus and pray over during these times. This verse gives me so much hope and encouragement knowing that even when a day isn't going the way we want, tomorrow is a fresh start.
"Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
A Challenge for All Moms
I challenge you today, I challenge you to reach out to another mom and let her know she is doing an amazing job. Let her know you see her. Let her know she is wonderful. Let her know she is NOT failing.
And, I challenge you to talk to your kids. Ask them, "Do you think I fail you as a mom?" You might be surprised at what their response is. I asked my eleven-year-old this question and this is his answer, "No. You cook me dinner, give my clothes and a roof over my head. You are an incredible mom. You do all this to keep me out of trouble and to have a good future." Cue the tears!
Mama, before I leave, I just want you to know I see you and you are doing an amazing job despite those feelings of failure.
If you have been a victim of mom bashing you can see my stance on that HERE. Or maybe you just need a little bit of a confidence booster, I wrote about my #1 Tip To Boost Your Self-Confidence and my Top 7 Fashions for Mamas On The Run… both of these posts will give you tips on boosting your self-confidence today.
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