Mom Bashing… what’s the point?
OK, y’all. Can we go ahead and STOP the mom bashing!! I just don’t get it. Really, what is the point? Now, agreeing to disagree is cool. However, to straight up say “YOU ARE WRONG because you do/believe/have xyz”, is not appropriate. EVER!
And guess what I don’t have time for mom bashing or any bashing… who does? Not this mom! And, it does not belong on this blog or anywhere else for that matter. Thank goodness I haven’t seen any here yet.
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Nonetheless, what brought all these feelings back to the surface was not something that happened to me but to Mandy Moore (who is not a mom by the way… I had to google that to find out, but my point is still valid). Yep, you heard that right… Mandy Moore. Now, I wish I could say I know her personally or that I have seen her new, hit show “This Is Us” but I can’t. I really don’t know much about her and I’m not at all up to date on the latest celebrity news.
It started off as any other evening, scrolling through Instagram when I came across an ad for Hello Fresh being promoted by Mandy Moore. I clicked on her Instagram… because why not? I was looking through her pictures when I came across the most ORGANIZED and clutter free pantry I have ever seen in my life. It was a magical moment for this “wish my pantry was organized, pretty and white” dreamer. I skimmed through the pictures she had and then I started checking out the comments… because, again, why not?
Most of the comments were praising her on the awesome pantry, very nice and pleasant comments in general. But then there were a few… that were BASHING her… you want to know what possibly they could have found to bash her over in her freakin’ nice, organized, white, perfect pantry?? PAPER TOWELS!!! I will repeat, PAPER TOWELS!!!
Like, “what the what” just happened here. OK, so there was like a massive Costco style stack of paper towels (perfectly organized may I add) and that is what stood out to these people the most! AND they chose to call her out on it. I totally get the recycle, reuse, repurpose mantra… it is definitely something I would like to work on as I try to lead a more intentional lifestyle… but guess what… I STILL USE PAPER TOWEL!! Shocker. I know. And, this (paper towels) may be one of those things I just don’t ever give up. Who knows? But, seriously, why would using paper towels or not using paper towels be a means to bash another person? I really wish someone would explain this concept to me.
There are things I do as a mother that are completely different than the things my friends, sister-in-laws (I have 3) and even my own mother do/did. I am sure they think I am crazy for using essential oils and being a semi-crunchy momma or disagree with the fact that we miss a lot of Sundays at church… but NOT ONCE have they EVER bashed me or made me feel like a bad mom or person because of our differences.
There are all kinds of mommas in this world!
breastfeeding moms vs formula feeding moms
baby led weaning vs traditional baby food
store bought baby food vs homemade baby food
disposable diapers vs cloth diapers
vaccinate vs unvaccinated
over the counter meds vs holistic practices
name brand clothes vs non-name brand clothes
new clothing vs thrift store clothing
sports playing vs musical instrument playing
homeschool vs public school
TV on 24/7 vs limited/no TV time
stay at home mom vs full time working mom
whole foods vs junk foods
blonde vs brunette
shaves legs vs natural
… this list could go on and on … like the “Song That Never Ends”. (I bet I got that song stuck in your head now.)
News Flash: WE ARE ALL MOMS DOING THE BEST WE CAN!!!
I am in a couple mom groups on Facebook and it just amazes me at all the unsolicited mom bashing that goes on. It is pretty common in mom groups to ask questions about Little Sally or Billy. Moms are looking for useful advice but there is a HUGE difference between offering helpful advice and bashing a mom.
Here are some EXAMPLES, so we are all on the same page.
Question: I can only get my little on to eat hot dogs, pb&j, mac and cheese, and occasionally chicken nuggets. I really want to start introducing new foods. I just don’t know how. Please help.
BASHING: OMG… I can’t believe she is still alive and living off that diet. Do you know how bad hot dogs are for you??
Helpful Advice: That sounds just like my youngest. He would only eat certain foods, but I found out that he REALLY loves smoothies! So, I have started to hide some spinach greens in with his strawberry and banana smoothies. Maybe something like that would work for your little one? Good luck momma, I know how hard it is.
Question: HELP… we are leaving on a trip soon, we will be in the car for 12 hours with two littles (ages 2 and 5) and I need some ideas on to keep them busy. Thank goodness our van has a DVD player, but what else should we take?
BASHING: Too much TV time is bad for little ones. You should only use open ended play, they need to learn to use their imaginations. Moms rely too much on screen time these days. STOP ruining your kids’ minds with all this TV watching!
Helpful Advice: We just took a trip just like that, my kids are pretty close in age to yours. We ended up stopping a couple time to let the kids out and stretch their legs. Even if you could do this once or twice during your trip you will be amazed at how helpful it is. Find a park for lunch and let them play so they will take a good nap in the car. Activity wise, we took things like books and noisemakers (my kids love these kinds of toys in the car). Oh, and Crayola Color Wonder stuff, AMAZING because they can’t accidently draw on anything other than the Color Wonder paper. Have fun on your trip!
Question: I am exclusively breastfeeding my infant and I am not sure I am producing enough milk for her. Any suggestions on upping my supply?
BASHING: Stop starving the kid and give her some formula.
Helpful Advice: Here is a link to a lactation cookie recipe! I haven’t tried it but my cousin said it worked wonders for her!! I know for my little I had to supplement with formula and eventually had to switch all together.
OK. I think we all get the picture.
If you are the mom bashing other moms, I BEG you to please stop. It is very hurtful and mean. No one deserves it, even if their lifestyle is completely, polar opposite of yours. If you don’t agree or have anything nice to say just keep scrolling.
If you are the mom giving solid advice to other moms, just keep spreading the love!
It is clear we still have a long way to go to raise awareness for “stop the mom bashing”. I see all the time where a mom is asking a question and she inserts… “please no bashing”. What does that say about what is going on between today’s moms? If you need a safe place, away from the judgement and mom bashing you are in the right spot. Welcome friend, I look forward to getting to know you.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a mom bashing comment? How did it make you feel?